I had a dream where I had made a large painting. It was a painting of large woolen strings, it started more abstract but later it became more and more figurative. I dreamt that all the propedeuse teachers and I were standing around it, they were reviewing it as part of the assessment. The comments weren't negative, I sort of remember Marion saying she found this detail of the string exciting . The review gave me a bad feeling because I didn't like the painting. Sure, it was nice to look at, it was something, but it didn't feel like me, it wasn't what I wanted to do at all, I wanted critiques.
I think this dream influenced my thought process the day after a lot. I really wanted to paint, but the whole time I was thinking about what would happen when the painting is finished, what I wanted the teachers to say and to see, what I wanted to become. The painting felt extremely forced. I really dislike what I made that day.

http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20210102_124827.jpg
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_123752.jpg
I started with painting the pieces of tape on the wall. It didn't...
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_123749.jpg
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_125326.jpg
I walked around and saw this scene, the top half of the house...
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_131359.jpg
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_153347.jpg
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_143608.jpg
http://elvirapereirastolle.kabkfinearts.nl/files/gimgs/th-40_20201227_180702.jpg